Regardless of gender, each of us has two very distinct energies. Masculine energy is focused on action, logic, and linear thinking. Feminine energy, meanwhile, embodies understanding, compassion, and love. Conditioned by society, many of us default to one energy in our personal and professional dealings. For example, when it comes to business, men and women have traditionally defaulted to their masculine energy. This is because our society has perceived empathy and creativity as qualities that diminish leadership, rather than build it. 

Luckily, the world is changing. Today, many are starting to realize that accessing masculine and feminine energy can bring balance to both personal growth and leadership. However, the journey is not always straightforward. One entrepreneur who knows all about the ups and downs of balancing masculine and feminine energy is Melisa Keenan. Today, the CEO and Intimacy Expert at Melisa Keenan draws on her own experiences to help others find internal balance. 

“There is a polarity that exists inside every person and in every relationship. Each of us has yin and yang energy and different expressions of that yin and yang energy. This affects the magnetism around us,” Melisa says. “We must learn to separate cultural masculinity and femininity and masculine and feminine energy. Masculine and feminine energy is centered around yin and yang, and has nothing to do with how girly or macho you are.”

Getting to Know Yourself 

According to Melisa, the first step to balancing your feminine and masculine elements is getting to know yourself. This has a lot to do with reflection on how you express yourself in relationships, both on a personal and professional level. “We can only access that part of ourselves, by going within. We won’t find it outside ourselves,” Melisa says. 

This is where intimacy with ourselves — or into-me-see, as Melisa calls it — is key. “The process of intimacy starts with yourself. What are you feeling? And what does that feeling indicate about what you value, your deepest heart’s desires?” she says. “When we begin to really embody intimacy, understanding our feelings, desires, pleasure, and what we deeply value, we stop making choices blindly in our lives hoping that they will work.”

Cultivating Balance in Relationships 

Melisa says that many women have been raised with a toxic version of what masculine energy means and to defend themselves take on masculine energy in their relationships. “This dynamic results in women who are burnt out, resentful, and over-doing everything in their lives and families. And men who still aren’t expressive or emotive, but tend to do whatever it takes to keep the peace in their lives and relationships,” Melisa explains. 

The combination within oneself of the masculine — being task-focused — and the feminine — being relationship-centric — can make a world of difference in your relationships. “It’s important to understand your masculine and feminine energy and then seek to bring forward the parts of you that you haven’t given space for at the table to increase the balance and harmony in your partnerships.”

Melisa is quick to admit that she didn’t always have a sense of equilibrium in her life. “In the past, my husband and I made many failed business attempts together because I was always trying to control him and control the outcome and it was either all or nothing for me with these businesses,” she says. “I was living in a continual state of fear. I felt that if things wouldn’t go my way, I wouldn’t survive.”

It took the breakup of her relationship to make Melisa realize that she needed to embrace her feminine side. While she and her husband are now back together, the journey wasn’t easy — both had to do a lot of inner soul-searching to reach the point they are at now. “When I first heard of feminine energy, I hated the idea. But then I realized, it wasn’t about being somebody that I am not,” Melisa says. “And it was a massive permission to release the things I have no control over, and focus on what is within my control, which is my own happiness, pleasure, peace, and wellbeing.”

Accessing Feminine Energy in Leadership 

Traditionally, leadership has been associated with the masculine characteristics of competitiveness, assertiveness, and focus on immediate returns. This left no room for feminine energy and qualities such as empathy, creativity, and the ability to look at the bigger picture — all characteristics that are important for long-term success. 

According to Melisa, this way of thinking is on its way out. “Every high-level business owner knows that their success means little without strong, intimate relationships by their side,” Melisa says. “If you want to be valued for more than just what you can do for people, you have to make space at the table for your feminine energy, for the parts of you that may not have had permission to come forward. And this goes for both men and women.”

Finding the Right Balance

There’s little doubt that an imbalance between masculine and feminine energy can damage relationships and hinder professional success. While the energies have very unique strengths, we need both to show up as the best versions of ourselves. This is where Melisa can help. Inspired by her own experiences, today Melisa offers one-on-one bespoke mentorships and 6- and 12-month containers to help others master their masculine and feminine energy to expand in both the bedroom and the boardroom.

“The wealth, freedom, and fulfillment that we all seek are at our fingertips but many of us are only willing to do the external strong-arm work it takes to create success, and neglect the more subtle inner work that is required for real fulfillment,” Melisa says. “To truly access soul-level fulfillment, you have to understand yourself from the neck down. The sensations, emotions, and gut feelings that are literally doing everything possible to point you in the direction of your own personal fulfillment.”