Having an adult chat is fun on its own, but sometimes the vanilla dirty talk can be a bit bland. If you’re ready to venture outside of the boundaries of vanilla sex, incorporating kink can be just the thing to help you spice it up. However, broaching the subject can feel a bit intimidating—especially if you’ve been in a vanilla relationship for a while. Taking your adult chat to the next level isn’t hard when you use these kinky tips.
Start Slow
Yes, even hardcore bondage chats don’t have to start hot and heavy. If you’re new to kink, feel free to warm up to the idea before going full tilt. Begin by getting consent and establishing safewords you’ll both remember, and then you can kick things off by making a flirty connection. Building up to a climax rather than starting too fast is good, no matter what kind of adult chat you’re interested in.
Kinky flirting can be slightly different since it usually involves some form of power or control. Yet playful and flirty chatting isn’t reserved for vanilla people only. People who have been in the BDSM scene for a while are usually pretty good at dropping some hints about their interests without overwhelming the person they’re talking to. Keep the tone light and insert some humor as necessary to smooth over any awkward timing or phrasing. Float out some ideas and see how your chat partner responds before stepping on the gas pedal. You could say something like, “I should restrain myself, but I’d prefer if someone else did,” or “I love gag gifts, so to speak,”—something along those lines to indicate your specific kinks. Use your wit, and you’ll be a much more compelling chat partner.
Remember the Kink Etiquette
If you’ve found someone online listed as a sub or dom, that doesn’t automatically mean that they want you to dominate or submit to them. You always have to ask. Respect and consent are significant parts of having a kinky chat and avoiding a creepy chat.
Try Something New
Embracing your kinky side is all about finding out where your boundaries are. It’s important not to go outside your hard limits, but it’s fun to play around those edges. You can always start with the lighter side, like handcuffs and dirty talk. However, the more unconventional you are, the more space you have for creativity, which is where you’ll have the most fun. Keep an open mind and try something from the “maybe” column of your yes/no/maybe list. Exploring is the best part.
Give Role-Play a Try
If you’re new to being a sub or dom, sometimes linking your desires to a specific role can help give you some direction as to what you want to say and do during a scene. It might be too ambiguous to decide how to dominate someone you don’t know well, but if you’re engaging in pet play or master and slave play, it’s easier to determine how to engage and respond to your partner.
Bring a Plus One
It can be fun to add someone else to your kinky experiences—even if you already have a partner. If you’re both open to the idea, experimenting with adding a third to your kink can multiply the fun. You can do this in person, but sometimes it’s best to test the waters first. Having an adult chat with a stranger before committing to an IRL threesome is an emotionally safer first step. However, if you do seek your third online, make sure to meet sex chat girls at arousr.com that verifies the users’ ages and protects your privacy. That way, your kinky chat won’t come back to haunt you later.